Thursday, May 10, 2007

Nighty Night

Can't sleep.
Woke up at midnight, an hour and a half after going to sleep...tossed and turned for an hour, finally turned light on & read the second half of Rolling Stone (the anniversary issue...I read the following interviews: Jack Nicholson, Scorsese, Keith Richards, Patti Smith, & Speilberg). Still wide awake.
Checked on kid...fine.
Ate a chocolate chip cookie & drank a bottle of water.
Garbage on TV.
Could begin my new book (Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield)...don't want to start my new book.
Pun'k is on...this show annoys me. Ashton Kutcher reminds me of Eli (childhood friend).
Oprah is on (really? at 1:24am...again?) thanks.
Two years ago I suffered from unrelenting insomnia...started around October, finally sought "help" by February (doc prescribed Ambien CR...that was bad). Ambien did me wrong (nightmares, panic attacks, totally sleepless nights, nightmares, nightmares, nightmares), so I began seeing a therapist who specialized in sleep disorders...she gave me a weird vibe. Stuck with her for a couple months, but I was still sleepless (would wake shortly after midnight, remain awake for 3-4 hours, go back to sleep until Jeff left for work, then wake up again for a little while & start me day groggy & miserable). Resumed yoga (which didn't help me sleep any better, but helped me feel less stressed out about losing sleep). Insomnia left me when Springtime arrived...ahhhhh.
This year, just a little taste of it. I can handle this once in a while.
I can't handle it every night for months at a time.
This afternoon, gave newest teammate Cati a little tour of Dtown...My intention was to take it easy & put out harder efforts on the hills.
The trails were so dry & perfect...easy gave way to lively and for the first time, I actually got into a groove at Dtown (imagine that). Amazing.
Not going to fret about being awake...naptime is not taken lightly around here, so I will be fine tomorrow...
Henry Rollins Show (featuring Ozzy Osbourne...hmmm, I'm too tired to concentrate on what the poor bastard is saying & musical guest Ben Folds is not my cup of late-night tea)...
Ohhhh! Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Uzbekistan) that's intriguing!
Thanks, Tivo!


airing out said...

I've had too many nights like that. Ambein was bad for me when I wanted to have a normal productive life.

The one thing I try to do when I can't sleep (doesn't always work) is lay perfectly still and relax my mind. I convince myself that even if I'm not asleep, I'm resting which is almost like sleeping. So that at least eases the stress of not sleeping and it does help with the grogginess.

good luck

Frank Brigandi said...

drugs are never an answer but may contribute to a solution. ambien is kind of a weird coctail, doesn't work for everyone. you may have a general issue with unwinding and relaxing enough to sleep, or turn off your brain, which is related to stress, just day to day things. no biggee, try not to eat after 8:00 at night, that will keep you awake for sure. try sleeping with earplugs in yor ears. That's what I used to do when I was racing, it simply put me in a place where my brain couldn't sobotage my slumber. I discovered the earplug trick in the hospital ( I used to crash alot...) and never looked toward anything else. try that maybe?