Monday, December 15, 2008

Kimmy Needs to Ride?

There are still days when I wake up and feel sorta...blindsided... I know, I know...Christmas is next week, the tree is up, the house is warm, there are yummy treats to be enjoyed, health & family to be thankful for, friends to catch up with, New Years Eve festivities to plan (more on that later, pencil it in)... Still, this time last year, I was plodding along... making peppermint bark... Creating a lovely Christmas card with warm wished from the Dubeck family... and I knew things were unraveling, though hoping things were just amiss, askew...still within reach... I didn't know what was coming, I couldn't have predicted my fate... Christmas, quite frankly, sucked...there, I've finally said it (exhale)... Nobody knew what was going on...sadly, I went through the motions...we all played along, ugh... Winter passed, big decisions were made... carefully, thoughtfully, little by little... until, suddenly...suddenly (!), it was July and I could no longer bear it...and I told my parents (what was I going to do, hold out forever? Wait til he moved out? Wait til I started working?)... So, here we are...back to December... And I am still grabbing at ideas and notions, trying to figure stuff out...just ordinary, everyday stuff... "Surreal" barely even nudges the way I feel... But, I am thankful and hopeful.

4 comments:

Suki said...

let me outta here!!!

oh. my bad. I was supposed to write that on my blog.

whoops.

airing out said...

Yeah, I remember hhow har dit is to deal with some of the small stuff. Holidays were bad, trips to Lowes were bad. then everything got better. I'm so incredibly happy now. Itakes some people a long time to process the whold thing. It took me probably longer than most.

I'm getting chemo right now... this comment might not make sesnse plus I can't really focius my sight. or type.

spicyride said...

OMG. put rachael in place of kimmy and take out the question mark and this would totally be a perfect title for my next blog post. my reasons are entirely different than yours though. i'm glad you are airing it out. it would seem you are starting to feel better?

Zach said...

Hang in there Kimmy.