Monday, February 23, 2009

Sorry, Mom

...I think it's the sound the ice makes when the axe hits it... I wanted to hear it again. My mom is a little freaked out. "Think of your son..." I get it. I got it loud & clear when a chunk of child-sized ice plummeted inches from my head yesterday as we made our way across the frozen stream under the falls... It was one of those instances where you gauge your narrow escape by the expression on everybody else's faces..."Holy shit...did you see how close that was? How big that was?" I don't know...calculated risk? I mean, my son's dad has a notoriously dangerous job... I've broken bones in the wee hours of the morning stumbling out of bed into walls (remember, the day before Beacon?)... I totalled a car because someone else was making up their own rules about traffic lights and turning lanes... I worry about accidents and injuries and mishaps far more than I care to admit...I worry about my kid and my ability to care for him and god forbid, what if something happens... sigh... So, there was a moment of: RRRRR, Kim, what were you THINKING?! That's enough... but, it's taken a lot of hard work to get over that...to stop seeing all the terrible possibilities... I'm not really going anywhere with this...no great epiphany here, no glowing revelation... Just the sound of the axe hitting the ice...so satisfying, so clear...again & again...

2 comments:

airing out said...

Rock fall is my biggest concern climbing outside. A memory of seeing bad rock fall hit someone got stuck in my head so deep that I could barely climb multipitch and still have fun. I also have a similar fear of cars and bicycles... this started after I saw a car get way too close to elk.

I think seeing the near miss or hit is probably worse than it actually happening to you (fear wise). For instance, the dude who got hit with the rock, he climbs all over the world with no fear. Me, I have to work on it.

Keep on climbing. Keep on having fun. You know it is dangerous. You calculate the risk. You make sure you are with trustworthy partners.

And if you hear rock falling remember to run to the wall, not away from it.

zenbicyclist said...

I'm not sure anything is more dangerous than inactivity.