Sunday, August 2, 2009

crybaby

last night: maybe I'll go see my brother play at Spence...hmmm, this Paleo thing shouldn't be too hard... hmmm, this Paleo thing is going to be pretty hard for a girl who's never eaten a banana or a tomato...hmmm, I sure love bread...say, what's that weird pain in my left side?? I should probably shower and find something to wear...ouch, is that my spleen?? I think I'll just get in bed, drink some water...maybe the road ride was a little too much, especially in this heat...man, I just want to sleep...owwwww, jesus, that feels a lot like a contraction, remember that?? Of course it's not a contraction...I am quite obviously NOT pregnant...damn, maybe a hot Epsom salt bath will help...eleven o'clock already? everyone, stop texting me, I'm staying in...owwwwwwww...okay, maybe I should confer with my best friend...his dad's an ER doc...nope, I don't need medical attention...okay, the pain is nowhere near my spleen...it's rapidly spreading to my back and above my left hip bone...midnight? f*ck, I'd love to sleep...hey, how bout an anti-anxiety pill, that'll put me out...I know I'm not getting on an airplane, but I am starting to get nervous...bike ride was stupid stupid ill-advised and I knew it...sleepy...zzzzz 4am thunder/lightning... FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.... this feels like a relentless contraction, a terrible sharp, mean mean pain...I am taking another hot bath...and some TUMS...maybe it was something I ate (oh, like that salad, you dumb-ass...cause you're all "Paleo Diet For Athletes starts now...")... call mom? call Jeff?? nah, totally overrreactOOOOWWWWing... yoga breathing...child's pose...no, this is dumb... can't stand straight or walk without wincing...wtf? my appendix is already out...soooo?? Now what? I am behaving much like the morning I went into labor...I am climbing the walls and begging for mercy... 6am tried to call the Pernas, but the phones were goofy...perhaps the storm?? barely haul my sorry ass to the ER (a seven minute drive)... I am crying like a baby, doubled over, pathetic really... the nurse is kind & patient... a simple (though, severe) kidney infection...because mono wasn't enough...right?? Morphine for breakfast. No relief...I am dumbfounded. Morphine again, shortly thereafter. Mom arrives and I am bawling...I am the ugliest crier you have ever seen. Hours pass, percocet galore...fluids & an IV of badass antibiotics... "Would you like to stay?" what? here? like overnight? like a sleepover? Oh, no thank you... the nurse advises me that my pain will be more effectively managed if I choose to be admitted. the doc disagrees...wants me to try to be at home...(the doc is cute, btw...my mom concurs) I imagine my comfy bed, clean pjs, a bath...cinnamon toast (screw that Paleo Diet today...Kimmy needs sugary carbs and mint tea)... I am home, writhing around, scrunching up my toes, trying to get comfortable. I have had many a crybaby moment in the past 23 hours... Now, please, summer is waning and cross is on the horizon...that's enough, ok?

2 comments:

sara said...

oh no! i'm so sorry that happened. they're the worst.
i miss you!

Lindsay said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a really tough time. I hope you feel better soon.