Thursday, December 30, 2010

all mr. wizard & sh*t

I've been on vacation... haven't done much riding. We did get out in the snow, wrapped up our ride as the flakes became steady & thick... Since then, lots of lazing around the house... fattening up on cookies & pistachio fudge & Beth's chocolate toffee danger candy & peppermint bark... Experimenting with volcanoes in the kitchen... getting reacquainted with Super Mario Bros... stocking up on bottled cheer for some NYE revelry... it's been a crazy year. I'm excited & happy & thankful for all that 2010 has shown me, but I am ready to see what 2011 will bring. cheers!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

"making christmas, making christmas..."

Our tree is out of control.
I love it.
Alone in the house tonight, I wrapped presents & wrote some quick notes to friends...
I dreamed up New Years Eve cocktails & pondered jeans or party dress.
Party dress for sure.
I listened to the Nutcracker and drank jasmine tea.
Yesterday, I worked back at the old office (the one I left for the bike shop endeavor)...without getting all "full circle" or "the grass isn't always greener," I will say I have never been so grateful to have a pleasant & energetic work environment.
I was met with such a sincerely warm reception upon my return that I sailed through the day taking so much pride in every little procedure I completed...
To say I'm thankful to have my job back is an understatement.
When I left nine months ago, my personal life was such sh*t...it was hard for me to find joy in pretty much anything for a while, let alone have any kind of passion or vigor for being an orthodontic assistant.
Presented with the chance to help grow an independent bike shop in my own little town from the ground up gave me something to be excited about...it shook me out of my rut, but ultimately fell flat.
Once all the (gallons & gallons) orange paint dried & the fixtures were built & the shiny bikes assembled, I realized retail (and lots of completely ridiculous drama) is not for me.
I also realized I was spending way more time selling (or not selling, as it were, in this economy) bikes than riding them.
Sure, rolling into work at ten AM was pretty sweet, but coming home after dark and trying to sit down for a real family dinner was more than trying.
And tiring.
My rides were whittled down to the occasional 14 mile roundtrip commute & a solid Wednesday ride. Saturdays were spent working and Sunday found me feeling obligated to get on my bike when all I really wanted to do was veg.
Needless to say, my cross season was a joke and my Cat 2 upgrade was a huge waste of money & aggravation.
The rut I was in nine months ago was nothing compared to the disdain & regret that I was feeling about my so-called bold new LBS endeavor.
Ugh.
After polishing my resume & searching for options, I landed a job at an orthodontic practice.
There were red flags immediately.
It was a bad fit in soooo many ways.
Trying to make the best of it, trying to find a silver lining, trying madly not to kick myself for leaving a pretty sweet gig in the first place, I slogged along...
In four short weeks, I gained the confidence of my superiors & coworkers...I was given more independence & tricky procedures.
Except, I hated it.
Hated hated.
Monday found me answering a completely unexpected voicemail.
Tuesday I was back in the fold, back where I had been wishing, seriously wishing, I could be.
Being an orthodontic assistant is weird.
It started out as a whim, as a means to an end, as an escape hatch, as a backup plan, as a way to not be employed forever as Miss Kim, underpaid preschool teacher...
The thing is, I had no idea how much I like teeth & stainless steel wires & shiny little brackets & glass ionomers & acidic solutions & pliers & gauze squares & scalers...
It's a very cool job...plus, I get to be a part of a team that's responsible for giving people healthy, great smiles.
That does sound corny, but it's so true...I get a kick out of that.
So, yeah,
that's my full-circle story...
That's the scoop and it's a pretty fantastic Christmas present.
(plus, I am on vacation for the entire next week...I get to be home with my family during these holidays)
I am just brimming with happiness at the moment.
So not where I was nine months ago, or this time last year.
thanks for reading &
Merry Christmas...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

rides w/ BP

I think it's pretty amazing that I get to ride with my dad... I think it's awesome that he's the one that got me into mountain biking in the first place... the fact that I stuck with it for this long is pretty remarkable. It's crazy how many endeavors I've started and abandoned...endeavors/half-assed whims/hobbies/interests my dad wholeheartedly supported... Riding is truly the only thing that has stuck with any kind of real passion & consistency. I just love it. Saturday morning I was fortunate enough to venture out on new-fallen snow and enjoy a truly perfect ride at Fair Hill with my dad. Even though I am no longer afraid to take the lead sometimes, I still don't want to bungle or biff in front of him...you know, cause I'm still his kid. We hit all the good stuff...a bunch of trails we'd been neglecting..."holiday loops," is what my dad called them. It's ridiculous...how much fun it was.

Friday, December 17, 2010

frosty

Miscommunication is at an all-time high and I am getting pissed...just when I thought it was finally done & settled. Nah. Anyway. My son has an ear infection & pneumonia. When I was his age, I had pnemonia for Christmas...missed a shitload of school. The day I went back, I drew a picture of my family around the Christmas tree & proceeded to puke all over it in front of all my classmates. That picture was badass, too. I still can't even look at Capri Sun after that episode. Traffic sucked last night with the coating of snow we got, but my goodness, was it beautiful out there this morning. I am charging my lights because I really really really really really need to get on my bike. Also, I lost a stalker...this blog hasn't exactly been setting the world on fire. I know. thanks for reading, my eight dear followers. Seriously.

Friday, December 10, 2010

icy

If there is a patch of ice at French Creek, I will find it with my bike... especially at the bottom of the fire tower descent. Especially if I am getting cocky & a little carried away, with BP hot on my heels. We all know what happens when you go down hard at FC... The remainder of the ride is typically spent bobbling/bungling/dabbing/cursing... The rocks become ogres & your feet won't warm up again. It was still an awesome Thursday afternoon ride. Pretty cold, pretty bleak, but it's December. It's fun to ride with my dad again, now that cross is over. Yep, it's December... we are watching, "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown" and talking about how much fun it is to dye eggs.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

ho ho ho

Making my list: procure a tree (a real tree) bake cookies make peppermint bark (white chocolate) ride in the woods bundle up avoid haircut find a cute NYE dress plan a party wrap some presents make some presents buy stamps

Thursday, December 2, 2010

kinda quiet around here, huh?

sigh.
November was quite a month.
big stuff, important stuff happened...mostly good.
Now, it's December & I am happy to just catch my breath.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

like a beagle in what??

our fearless/fearful leader (on her freaking cross bike, yep)
Blake & Anne Rock (minus the nine dollar Target sunglasses) waiting for Diesel Di at the bottom of super-awesomeness
Post ride/pre-Thanksgiving treats (peanut butter STACK, if you must know)
Seriously, at this particular moment I am particularly thankful that I get do something I love on a fairly regular basis (ride my bike).
And...
I get to do that with some of the most amazing people I've ever met...
People I quite possibly would have never met otherwise.
Pretty awesome.

Monday, November 22, 2010

thanks

I'm excited for Thanksgiving this year... and I have much to be thankful for. We spent the weekend doing a year's worth of yard work... we watched movies (the Usual Suspects, Lord of The Rings)... we did not ride our bikes. It's been a week off the bike, in fact... Between Phelps & now, I had a few days on the couch recovering from a minor procedure... I watched American Beauty (Kevin Spacey week here?)... I ate Gummi Bears & grilled cheese... I ran with the dog... I gave myself severe respiratory distress following a minor catastrophe in the (not well-ventilated) basement involving shoddy plumbing & a gallon of bleach. I started Christmas shopping! I ended my stint at the shop... it wasn't what it was supposed to be. I am moving on...(again) & pretty certain I won't be back this time. I spent my last day there decorating the windows with paper snowflakes & Christmas lights. I drank a beer with Chris, the mechanic. I thought about the holidays. I thought about New Years Eve...and party dresses & champagne & all that good stuff. I started planning my son's birthday party...he's going to be six. I thought about having more kids. I thought about one & done. I haven't been sleeping well and I almost asked my doctor about Ambien (which I swore I'd never use again)... instead, I kept mum about the sleeplessness & walked away with a prescription for an inhaler and some roids (5 days worth). I should have known it was a bad idea to scrub the concrete floor with undiluted bleach, with one tiny window propped open. The sleeplessness has nothing to do with the reactive airway blah blah blah...the sleeplessness comes with daylight savings. Always. I've been having terrifying dreams...I fall asleep just fine, wake up in the middle of the night (usually from a nightmare or an episode of sleep paralysis), and that's it... I'm up for hours. My best sleep is in the morning, after the dog gets up... for a couple hours. I don't want to go through the sleep study thing...I don't want to go to the sleep docs at Jefferson again. I just want to sleep through the night on a fairly regular basis. (okay, Santa? Hear me?) I've been thinking about mountain bike racing again. Like maybe getting ready for it, like paying closer attention to what I do over the winter... I found my ice helmet. I don't know if I want to do that anymore.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Phelps 2010

Tom Mackay, winner of the B race, and fellow Stormtrooper
Bill Showers (love him) leading the first lap...
My dad still takes care of my ride
BP
Skinny-ass Julz (I love that kid)
TC, BP, and Dave B (too busy being a hipster riding his fixie around the city to race much cross this year)
Bill
Kelly, Kaos, Anne Rock (I miss her)
my kid & me
I couldn't resist one more race...
Riding over to the venue, I felt like something good was going to happen & at the very least, I'd end this wacky little season on a high note.
Maybe it was the fact that I found a new job & gave my notice at the shop...
Maybe it was the confidence gained from a solid week+ on the bike...
Maybe it was having my mom there...
Maybe it was seeing my kid & hearing him shout for me at the top of the run-up after the barriers...
Maybe it was warming up with Anne Rock, who I haven't seen enough this year...
Maybe it was the lucky Delirium (or 2) the night before...
Maybe it was trying to show my BF I know how to race cross...
Maybe it was working back & forth with Diesel Di...
Maybe it was Fatmarc yelling, "Come on, Kim Dubeck!...Perna!...what should I call you??!"
Maybe, just maybe it was the Stormtrooper kit.
In any case, I raced the hardest I have certainly this season, maybe ever...
With my 3rd place winnings, I bought a round for my man & his dad at the Flying Pig.
It was truly one of those awesome, perfect days.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Friday

I think I need to do one more cross race this weekend... I hope my kid can be there because last year it was pretty awesome to have him run beside me behind the tape on the run-up lap after lap. "Go, Kimmy! Come on, Mom!" I'm starting a new job in two weeks. Turns out I really miss working on other people's teeth... I really need to catch up with my cousin.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

freaking delicious

I stole a (cooked) sweet potato from my mom's fridge... Usually, I don't cook a real dinner for myself on Wednesday nights... The sweet potato inspired me & I made this for myself: Cooked pasta (I used barilla spagetti, yellow box) 1 cooked sweet potato, diced (skin off...I don't do sweet potato skin, do you?) 1 small handful toasted pine nuts 1 generous handful of arugula Browned the sweet potato in a pan with olive oil, salt, pepper, and a little cinnamon while the pasta cooked... The pasta had a couple minutes to go, so I threw the pine nuts & arugula in the pan and gave it another little hit of olive oil... Tossed it all together, added a little fresh grated pecorino & a touch of crunchy pink salt. Even my son, was like, "Ooooh, what's that?" "It's freaking yummy. Care to try it?" "It looks yummy." "Care to try it?" "No thanks." (We are down to completely plain pasta, waffles, edamame, pizza, grilled cheese, mac n cheese, and maybe some permutation of a chicken nugget...but only mine or Bell & Evans...ridiculous) Feeding my almost 6 year-old is a challenge... I usually prepare a staple or standby that I know he'll eat & encourage him to at least try whatever else we're having. I don't want to battle or bargain or negotiate...I don't want to force or bribe or sneak stuff in. This is how I do it, this is what works for now. Almost 6. I got some awesome news today & I will elaborate as soon as it's official. (no, I am not preggers...puh-leazzzze)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

November-ish

"Just have fun with it..." Yeah, but I'm not. My short-lived 2010 cross season is over. 2011 will see me better prepared & more enthusiastic. Focused. Into it. Having fun. (okay, receiving the Stormtrooper skinsuit was pretty freaking outrageously fun) Until then... job search. mountain bike. kindergarten. puppy. all the other stuff that happens when I'm not packing a race bag or panicking about tire pressure or combing through confirmed riders or practicing every Wednesday or losing sleep over the dreaded last row... So, if it looks like I am giving up...I kind of am. For now. Because I want to belong there and next year I will.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

short sleeves, late October

Pressed for time, we rode our cross bikes over to downingtown late yesterday afternoon... One of the upper loops is perfect for a decent cross workout, but I just wanted to enjoy the unusually warm day & ride for f-u-n... "Let's just do our normal thing, but we'll get off the bikes when we have to." But, we didn't have to. I definitely had that sense of so-wrong-but-oh-so-right...riding the bike kinda gingerly... everything felt kinda exposed & fragile (even though I know that's not really the case). F-u-n, indeed. I am skipping Beacon this year. I need to work & I need waaaay more fitness than I have right now to successfully hang in there on a course like Beacon. This time last year, I didn't know what to do with myself if there was only one (let alone zero) races during any given weekend. I was obsessed/possessed by racing racing racing training training training cross cross cross... I was also a lot more confident with regards to self-image...skinny jeans were on constant rotation. But, I also didn't have a life. I want to be fast & fit again, and I will be... A text from my boss (really??) yesterday told me to stay home, take the day off because things are slow... Yep, there's that. I'm spending more time at home than at work (thus, the bonus ride on a Tuesday) lately and I like it. I like being the one to get my son ready for school & having time to put together a nice dinner.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

power waffle

So, I was called out a while ago for referring to my friend and coworker as merely my coworker. He's 15 & I suppose we are friends in that totally-non-creepy-20-years-younger-than-me way. We have the shop & cross in common, as well as a penchant for power waffles & coconut water. He's a good kid (sorry, Julz, but you are a kid) & his parents rock. Saturday, he offered to pit for me (completely unsolicited) because he had to hang around for his teammates in the elite race anyway. Last year, as a junior on course the same time as the B women, he outsprinted me at the Mercer (Mud) Cup...he slayed me, memorably, at the line. Bastard. Sunday, I watched him race the killer B's...he's on a nice, light bike that fits & rode a very spirited & confident race. He's rubbing elbows with that freaking Swiss Cheese this year as part of the Philadelphia School of Cyclocross team. His skinsuit is still baggy as hell, though.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

granogue 2010

Granogue was spooky & cold Saturday morning. Settling into my post at registration for the morning, I was determined to enjoy the moment, enjoy the experience. I didn't have time to be nervous about racing. On paper, my race was nothing to brag about, that's for damn sure... but, I felt strong & finished without puking (unlike Charm City). No self-loathing yesterday, no excuses, no regret. As I bungled through sand on lap 2, I said/gasped to Anthony, "but, I'm having fun..." You know what's funny? After making a few passes, taking some chances, thinking I was making some badass moves, I said to FM, "Do I have at least a little gap on anybody??" Beth Mason was hot on my heels, but the other women were nowhere to be seen. "Oh, yeah, Dubeck, you've got a solid gap..." Awesome, I'm racing. No. They had dropped out. There was no gap. Riiiiight. Still, so much fun. So much fun trying to ride that course really well. Saturday night was spent with friends & out-of-towners...there was pasta & burnt bread & a few beers & a rammy (but, polite) puppy & good conversation & maybe just a little eye-rolling ...there was exhaustion & bleary eyes & a warm fire...there was good company & a good night's sleep. Sunday found me back at the registration table (for some reason, I like working reg...seriously...in a weird way, it helps me relax). Between races, I had time to ride 4 solid laps & acquaint myself with the course's awesome changes. Real life got in the way around 12:50pm. I bailed... I ended up not racing. It was definitely the right call & I am not going to beat myself up about missing out. I am certainly not done for the season... cheers.

Friday, October 15, 2010

windy windy windy

Yesterday, the shop was cozy & slow...it was pouring & cold outside. I bailed early because I felt like hanging out with my son & my man. Granogue is tomorrow & Sunday... I've decided to throw in the towel for the season if I don't have fun racing/suffering/potentially sucking this weekend. It's all good... We bought a french press for our Vermont trip (and since then, have discovered 2 other french presses in our possession...oops). My new favorite thing is making coffee at home. I am not really a coffee drinker...my day typically begins & ends with tea. Coffee is my new thing in the morning... and if it's by the fire in the morning, I'm in even less of a hurry to leave home. Kids, it's gonna be super-windy this weekend...I better get & stay in a little group.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

distraction

It's hard to get much done lately... being distracted hasn't been this much fun (or cute) in a while. Man, she's a good pup.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I love listening to the Kills on a sunny Sunday with the windows down

What a lazy weekend. Rode my (mountain) bike, hung out, wore my boots, walked the dog... I was at a party yesterday and people were talking about racing cross. Oddly, I wasn't even tempted to chime in. I've been told I didn't get where I am by being slow... I know. But, one can't exactly race Cat 1/2 (successfully) by getting on a bike maybe twice a week (one of them being a race, ha). Not this girl, at least. And that is not me making excuses... That is me saying: Have some fun, instead...whatever that means. (and, perhaps, try to get on the bike more than twice a week) Kindergarten is weird in 2010. Some of things that come home, some of the communication from the teacher and homeroom mom leave me baffled... BP is making farro tonight. My mom quit smoking...I hope it sticks this time. Sara is coming back for Halloween, which means I finally get to meet little Sylvie. I have to find a hot little party dress for a wedding in a few weeks (which means I am missing Zach's race, which was super-fun & snowy last year). The trails are difficult to see midday because of the leaves & the way the sun shines in the woods. Once, I got knocked out by a frisbee to the neck. It was brutal, scary, embarrassing. My backyard is in a pitiful state right now...broken water guns, cobwebs, weeds, leaves, an almost empty bag of charcoal. And that is all the excitement I wish to share on this lazy Sunday.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

friday off

I took the weekend, a three day weekend, off... yesterday I had an excellent ride with my dad at downingtown. He told my BF that I beat him up on the trails, which is always a welcome feather in my cap. Last night my son stayed home (unusual for a Friday, typically with his dad) & we invited Beth over for make-your-own-pizza night (complete with Duck Rabbit beer & homemade oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies). We wrapped up the night falling asleep by the fire... Fridays off are awesome. I want them back permanently, please.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

hillbilly hustle

Got bumped at the start (but, didn't go down), made some tricky passes in the pines (my shoulder will thank me later, for sure), sailed through the mud, and finished 10th. Anne Rock was on my wheel. that's all I'm gonna say about that, Anne Rock-race-of-your-life. seriously, I had a great race. I had a great race because I kept my head up (even though I am told by lap 4, I was displaying the want-to-punch-somebody-in-the-face demeanor) and just. kept. going. the pup behaved angelically (we will surely pay for this...I know how this goes). I played hard in the mud on my bike and chased a lot of ridiculously fast & talented women (hello, BadKat)... Somebody suggested goals should be thrown out in the midst of what's been going on...yep, I agree. Wherever I end up is really inconsequential...points are nothing this year (unless I am, of course, contributing to the Greater Good aka the Dark Side), so I may as well enjoy it. DFL or not. I still like it. I still love it. I still want some more.