Friday, August 3, 2012

movement

I can feel the baby move now...
mostly when I am in bed reading or when I first wake up, but now there are subtle flutters and pops randomly throughout the day, too.
I forgot how strange and amazing this feels.

I am still comfortable on my bike, but the heat and humidity have kept me off the trails this week. Instead, I've been taking long, brisk walks after dinner.  
Long, brisk walks that leave me plenty of time to marvel at the changes quickly taking over my body (by the end of the day, my wedding ring is too tight from water retention/swelling...for one).
Long, brisk walks that leave my legs tired and ensure at least a few solid hours of good sleep.
This pregnancy has me conflicted.
I am having a hard time surrendering to the belly, the swelling, the heightened emotions, the constant physical change.
I so wish I could revel in the physical aspect of being pregnant.
With Max, I felt like the Champion of the Pregnancy Glow...I felt strong and confident. Full of energy.
I was proud of the belly.
This time, I'm fully aware of the awesome task at hand...the blessing of building a human inside me.
I get that.
I just want to be able to reconcile what's going on behind the scenes/beneath the surface and what I am seeing outside.

Huge, I tell you...

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