Saturday, December 15, 2012

it makes no sense

The tragic events that took place in Connecticut yesterday rattled me and left my mind racing all afternoon and through the night.
I can't stop thinking of the families and parents of the children who lost their lives.
I can't stop thinking about how terrifying it must have been for all those kids at school.
All those little kids.
I counted the minutes, impatiently, to pick up my son at the bus stop.
We talked about his day on our walk back to the house.
Fridays are great...pretzel day, no homework...kid stuff.
Sometimes the school store is open on Friday and the kids can purchase inexpensive items like erasers, fancy pencils, small trinkets and toys.
Kid stuff.
Elementary school.
Stuff that makes Fridays fun and signify the end of a week's worth of hard work.
The television was off all afternoon at our wasn't a conscious choice and I was braced to talk about the events if prompted.
Instead, the draw of cookies warm from the oven led Max straight to the kitchen.
We sat at the table and tried (and failed) to make clever origami animals.
I said, "Screw it, Max. Get the scissors."
We made colorful snowflakes and Mexican wrestler's masks out of the paper instead.
My mind wandered & my eyes filled with tears (which I easily blamed on hormones yet again) and I wondered how my school teacher friends were processing this (if they could process this).
And my heart broke all afternoon and all night, mostly, for the kids.


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