Friday, December 28, 2012

one week later

The good:
Whatever may lie ahead doesn't matter much right now...our baby girl has been mellow and sleeping well. I am not so naive to think this is it and we have a good sleeper. She is one week old (a week already?? what the?) and I know there could be a change in our very near future. I know she is getting used to being out in the world, just as we are getting used to a brand new baby...
But.
We've been blessed with a pretty easy transition home and that's all that matters right now.

Also, Max has been handling the change pretty well. I don't think he feels like he's starved for attention and he genuinely seems to adore his little sister. Again, I know it's early in the game, but so far so good.

Bill, as a new dad, has been nothing short of amazing. When we came home from the hospital, I was recovering from both labor and illness and Bill made sure I was rested, fed, and hydrated right alongside our newborn. He's showing me that it's okay for things to be good...I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but we're working on that.

The bad:
Breastfeeding has been tough.
I didn't even intend to nurse our baby, but something changed and I wanted to give it a try.
In the hospital, I did not have Maeve room in with me at night because I was so sick, but all nursing attempted during the day was successful.
At home, she has refused the breast more and more and now that my milk is established, I've began pumping so I can at least supplement with a little breastmilk.
It's not even that I feel guilty giving her formula, I just really enjoyed the experience of nursing her and I'm frustrated that it's not working.
I also know not to give up on that yet...I know it doesn't come as naturally as one may think and it does take practice.
Sigh.    
One other "bad" thing...
Bringing home a baby in the dead of winter when already faced with Seasonal Affective Disorder and postpartum hormonal chaos is challenging.
I feel isolated and anxious for sunshine...cabin fever sucks.
Things could be so much worse, though...and as I mentioned, I am sleeping.  
So, yay!


The Ugly:
Quite simply, my midsection.
I came home looking about six months pregnant.
My belly is swollen, mushy, and quite round.
Yeah, yeah...it took nine months to get here, it's not going to bounce back overnight...blah blah blah.
Before I know it, I'll be back on the bike and feeling more energetic.
Yes.
But, for now, I feel pretty gross.

How has it been a week?
This time last Friday, my epidural was wearing off and I was telling Bill it would be time to push soon.
I'll share the birth story soon.

    

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