Wednesday, June 5, 2013


Max spends most weekends with his dad.
Some people have even alluded to the fact that I am "lucky to get a break every weekend" whenever our custody arrangement comes up in conversation.
Um, no.
While I am normal and human and certainly need a break from being in mom mode sometimes, I hardly feel lucky to get a "break" from my son every weekend.
When Max started spending two nights in a row with his dad, I was pretty much beside myself with worry the whole time in his absence.
Although I trust his dad, I still get anxious on Fridays when Max leaves and still breathe a deep sigh of relief on Sunday when he returns.
It's been five years and that part hasn't gotten much easier.
I don't anticipate that changing.
Like, ever.
And...I just miss him when he's not here.

Lately, I wonder when Maeve will catch on that her brother has a different dad and that he goes somewhere else most weekends.
I wonder when she will realize that Max calls her daddy "Bill."
This summer will afford us the opportunity to be together more in a way that we haven't really experienced yet as a family.

I'm so grateful to be home with my kids now and nothing makes me happier than seeing Maeve light up whenever her big brother is around.
Summer vacation cannot come soon enough!




Jill said...

My mom stayed home with both my sister (7 years my senior) and me. My earliest memories are of those days; they are precious and priceless and those feelings only grow the more time goes by. My mom and I still reminisce about those years! (Drinking tea from mugs with funny handles, doing crafts on the living room floor, with Guiding Light on in the background...So much love.) Your kids are so, so lucky; they know a lot of love! And so dang cute. What a sweet photo!

Kim said...

(I actually got goosebumps when I read your didn't even occur to me that someday my kids may look back on this time the way you have reflected on your memories with your own mom & sister. I was so wrapped up in how lucky *I* feel)