Monday, June 30, 2014

How we do...

In a cruel twist of fate, it sounds like my brother will not be able to attend our mom's funeral this Thursday.
For reasons I can't even begin to comprehend, let alone hash out here, he's stuck.
We were doing okay, moving forward, taking care of everything, taking care of each other; this, though, is just beyond soul crushing.
My dad and I had to unplug for a bit late this afternoon in light of this turn of events, so we got on our bikes and made our way over to the trails.
We talked and rode and sweated it out...

I just keep thinking, I don't have these grandiose words of wisdom that my mom ever shared with me, but she taught me everything I need to know by example.
How to be a mom.
And a wife.
And a friend. 
And a daughter.
And a sister...
She lived it so beautifully and selflessly, through and through. 
I'm just so thankful that there are no lingering questions, no regrets.
What we had was just easy.

I know she'd want us to get out there and just hammer away on our bikes in the woods together.

So we did.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Hi, Mom...

Last night, hanging out around a big fire in our backyard with my dad and some of my very best friends, we heard an odd noise coming from behind us...
"Chair squeaking?"
"Nahhh, I think it's coming from those trees."
They went over to investigate, as the sound became more persistent, a bit more audible.
I heard my friend say, "it's a screech owl, look up there."
Well, I'll be damned.
And as I made my way over, still hearing that funny little screech, I could see it clearly on the limb, even in the dark night sky.
As we gathered under the tree, the owl gently & swiftly swooped to another branch as if to say, "yep, I am an owl, look at me, I'm here..."
Nobody had to say it, because they all know me & we all thought the same thing , we all got it, in that moment.

I watched and waited and then not a minute later, the owl took flight again and made it's way across the sky.

In all my years here, all the nights spent hanging out in the back yard, listening and watching for critters, all the fires we've had, I've never heard or seen anything quite like that. Not a tiny little owl, not so close to us and certainly not so insistent...come see  what I am...

Anyone who knows me, knows my love of owls, the most beautiful and badass birds of prey. 

If that's not a sign right there, I don't know what is...

Friday, June 27, 2014

june 27 12:44pm

My mom left us this afternoon...quite suddenly, unexpectedly.
My dad and I were with her, she wasn't alone
(and we weren't alone).
I feel numb and maybe don't even fully believe it yet...

I wish my brother was here.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Bad Blogger (take 2)

I haven't felt compelled to write lately...
I know this blog will be right here when the urge moves me, but for now, I'm kind of over it and need a little break.
Mostly, I'm just busy with the kids.
Things happen  (hysterical things, sad things, amazing things, ordinary things) and I want to share, but with my son getting older,  I feel the need to respect his privacy; no matter how few people actually read this blog, I still need to be careful about what kind of footprint I leave with regards to my kids on the internet.

I think I'm going to race next weekend (Neshaminy), but the last time I got all psyched up about a mountain bike race (Ramsey's Revenge), I ended up nursing a spinal headache following a (diagnostic) lumbar puncture.
(so, did I just jinx myself mentioning my intention to get my ass back in gear and race again soon? Probably)
See?? See what happens when I check in here?
Now I'm just rambling...


Sunday, June 1, 2014

Bad Blogger

I'm just...busy.
(I mean, who's not??)
A few things (maybe I'll expound on them at a later date, but probably not):
I was starting to worry about Maeve not talking (because Max was speaking full sentences at 14 months and had a vast vocabulary at Maeve's age and OBVIOUSLY we should all compare our children developmentally to their siblings, right? Ugh, Kim, you went to school for this shit...really)
Well, I'm not so worried anymore because she sure likes to say "No" about six dozen times every hour (except it sounds more like "Ny-oh ny-oh."
She also says "cheese", "daddy" (for her daddy and no offense to Bill, just about every other object and person right now), "hi" (a very emphatic "HA!" accompanied by an enthusiastic wave) and "dinosaur" (doh-doh-DUH).
So, we are communicating with a handful of actual words now and it's adorable and exciting and I'm like, "dinosaur?! really??"

What else?
It's June, so the countdown is on for summer vacation and I can't wait for third grade to be over. It hasn't been the greatest for so many reasons; let's just put it to rest already. Jeez.

What else?
We finally watched "Her" last night. 
I love Spike Jonze and I loved this creepy/eerie/relevant/funny/timely movie.

That's all I got.