Monday, December 22, 2014

damn (guess I saw this coming)

Inevitably, I've hit the holiday wall just days before Christmas.
Not surprisingly, I'm kind of in a funk.
Yesterday, Maeve turned two and during our very small, very low-key gathering for cake, I pretty much crumbled inside.
I wanted the noise and chatter to stop, I wanted my house empty, and I wanted to never hear "MINE MINE MINE" until 2015 (at least).
Selfishly, I just wanted to sleep.
Wow, how scrooge-y and awful does that sound?
We're lucky enough to have awesome people who want to come and share birthday celebrations with our children and all I could think was make it stop?
What the f*ck is wrong with me?

I'm tired.
I haven't been outside nearly enough (and let's not touch on how painfully little I've been breaking a sweat in the name of a vigorous run or ride), I'm feeling the weight of my mom's absence big time this week, I'm behind on adult responsibilities, I'm stuck in the all too familiar rut of waking nightly at 2 only to fall back asleep, oh, four hours later...
In short, I'm just plain fried.

I have 3 days to get my shit together and conjure up some holiday cheer for our kids.

I'm sure this is all normal, right?

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