Monday, August 10, 2015

The taper

I'm (only) on day three of tapering down my Zoloft dosage (per my shrink, but that's a post for another day...or not) and it suuuuuuuuucks.
I have cried because:
The kid at the comic shop informed me that there was a $10 minimum on credit card purchases (my total was $5.19).
I walked down the street on a clear night at 10pm and heard neighbors laughing.
My dad stopped by to pick up a flyer that I'm working on for an upcoming art show.
Bill hugged me for a second too long.
Max wanted to have a sleepover (with me).
I told Bill about all my crying (and that made me cry).

Those are just a few of the reasons I've cried. It's like really bad PMS without the chocolate cravings and bitchiness.
Sike. There's bitchiness right now, too.

In a way, I find it kind of amusing (though certainly not in the moment) because I can probably count on one hand how many times I've cried in the past year.
Well, let me assure you, I am making up for that now.
Jesus.
In addition to the big fat tears rolling down my face without warning, I'm incredibly unsteady/dizzy, have no appetite, and am very tired.
I just woke up from a two hour nap.
And I'll probably go back to sleep when I am finished crafting this awesomely well-written post.
On the flip side, I was super pleasant (almost manically so) at work on Saturday and...
I guess that's the only flip side so far.
Let me just say this...
Drugs that affect your brain chemistry/serotonin levels are no joke.
Even under the watchful eye of a trusted psychiatrist...even when coupling said medication with psychotherapy. 
Even when the benefits unquestionably outweigh the risks. 
No. Joke.
It's a little bit jarring/unnerving what it feels like almost immediately when you take away a mere 50 milligrams.

Stay tuned, people...
Stay tuned.


Hey, let's hear it for all the Ugly Criers out there...the ones who get tell-tale red splotches that last for hours...the ones with the broken capillaries under your eyebrows...the ones who heave and sob with snotty bubbles and scrunched up foreheads...no amount of cold water splashed on the face or makeup can hide the evidence. I feel you, Ugly Criers.

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