Wednesday, September 30, 2015

What a day...

Today I...
Held my neighbor's puppy in my arms as she whimpered and moaned, having just been hit by a car.
I can't get the moaning sound out of my head.
Or the puppy's soulful eyes.
I think she sensed I wasn't her "person", but was in such pain/shock, it didn't matter ..almost as if she was grateful to be gently scooped off the street, wrapped in the nearest towel I could find.
They've only had her for three weeks.
When we carefully placed her in my neighbor's car, I assured her, "it's not that bad...she's alert, I think her hind leg is broken...she'll be okay, just GO."
I knew, though, that it was pretty bad (confirmed not thirty minutes later when my neighbor returned from the emergency vet without her puppy, tearful).
The puppy didn't make it.
It was 3pm, so the kids weren't home from school yet (thank god) heart broke when I saw her three boys amble up the street after the bus dropped then off.
So it's nearly 13 hours later and I just can't stop thinking about the dog and those poor kids.
The person who hit the dog wasn't from our neighborhood...I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but when I heard the terrible sound out front, I knew it was something bad.

Today is...
My mom's birthday.
I don't particularly want to make or eat cake or "celebrate" or enjoy all her favorite things...honestly, I don't want to go to her "spot." I've been there a lot lately. She's been in my dreams almost every night.
Ordinary every day things & conversations in my dreams, which leaves me feeling like "oh, I should call my mom..." But, then, duh...reality.
Sometimes I'll just dial her cell number so I don't forget it.
All this to say, I miss her tremendously right now and I need her lately; thus, not feeling the celebration vibe.
More like a distract-me-please-vibe.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I'm really sorry... That's an awful thing to happen. Poor puppy...

I think (based on my limited experience) that dreams close to any anniversary (birthday, death, etc.) is commonplace and normal. I hope they're good dreams. I hope you can wake up feeling like she was near for a bit.