Sunday, May 31, 2015

June

Tomorrow is June 1st.
I've been dreading June...
Every day, we're getting closer & closer to the one year date since my mom died (6/27/14) and it's making me very anxious. Maybe because I can't say to myself, "this time last year we celebrated Max's last day of school/went shopping for Father's Day/tried that new restaurant etc etc etc". I don't know what it is about the one year mark, but I just don't want to get there. Makes no sense, doesn't have to. 


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

And it's nearly June...

Man.
Blogging has fallen waaaaay off my radar.
I've been more driven to draw/sketch than write. 
Day after day, I bust out the colored pencils and practice practice practice.
Ideally, I'd like to get into some kind of class or lessons.
You know what else has fallen waaaaay off my radar?
Riding my bike.
Lately, I run in favor of riding.
I just happen to enjoy it a lot right now,
so I run.
I keep seeking out these trail 10ks because it seems like a good distance for me. I've seen some beautiful new places and trails in the past few months thanks to these races.
And I know I've touched on it before, but I really do feel connected to my mom when I'm running.
I can't believe we're approaching the one year mark of her death.
Is it weird that I don't want it to be a whole year already since she died?
I don't know why that's hanging over my head, but grief is weird.

I've been sick with a stupid kidney infection this week and (no surprise), I just want my mom.
I just want to be like, "Here, can you take my kids for an hour so I can at least be uncomfortable in an empty, quiet house?"
I just want to be like, "Hey, mom, can you make some Queen soup for me?"
I guess I could try to make it, but it wouldn't be the same.

Maybe the tone of this post suggests I'm not doing so great, but that's just today.
I'm good ☺